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In terms of who or what you are fantasizing about, it seems to me that the important thing is the understanding of the difference between fantasy and reality, and we don’t try and blur the lines between the two. When we fantasise and/or masturbate that is our thing and no one else gets to say what is and isn’t ok as long as it’s not harming anyone. Personally, I agree with Bish here: when we fantasise about someone, if there is no way of them knowing then they are not involved or harmed and it’s ethically ok.

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